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gets men messaging her on a certain app for quick hookups. I use the exact same app and had never once had a man inquire about a sexual rendezvous.

So I asked to see her profile, and I saw the problem immediately.

I talked about what I did for work and what I enjoyed doing on the weekends and cracked a few jokes.

But then I was having to weed through so many people that didn’t have similar values or goals.

And it's my family, not a group of girls at a bachelorette party.

I can’t tell you how many times I get first messages from men saying, “Wow, you look so different than the other women on here. ”I’m not a huge dating app connoisseur, but what I know worked for me was being selective.

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When you’re putting in effort, it will be easy to tell if the guy is, too.When I choose my profile photos, I’m thoughtful about what I want to draw a man’s attention to.I try to highlight aspects about myself I want men to notice (like my smile), and I avoid posting pictures that highlight my cleavage or any other sexual parts.Rather than trying to set up a profile on every single app out there, choose one or two to make your mark on.

You’ll drive yourself crazy if you try to cast your net everywhere.

), a photo of me on my bicycle, a photo where I’m laughing and not looking at the camera, and a photo with my family.